Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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