btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
