Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
