his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
