Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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