Will you blow on my dice?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
