I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
