yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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