Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I came so hard my ears popped.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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