my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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