i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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