honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your cock deserves a montage
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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