My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I believe in your delicious
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
