420 ftw
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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