I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
