he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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