that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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