so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
