shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
