Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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