He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
