I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
