So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
