Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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