Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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