So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
