she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
