and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
