you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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