people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
