Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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