You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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