No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I love you. Go after that dick
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