so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There r osticjed everywhere
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
