Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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