dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
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