Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
