with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
