get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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