Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
