I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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