On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
