u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
