sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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