My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
