I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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