I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
