I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
