"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
