She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
