Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
