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I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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