Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
